Thursday, September 20, 2007

Early Battles With the Civil War Soldier-Hornets...or...Something




The 'Hawks split a home and home in the first two games of the preseason, winning in Columbus 4-3, and in regular season fashion, losing at home 4-3. Some thoughts from these two close games:

-Hey, Jonathon Toews can score on the Power Play! Maybe he can actually turn a unit that has been close to dead last in the league on the Power Play around a little bit.

-Wait, did I say *close* to dead last? Well, last year it actually was dead last. Hurry up and get good, Jonathan.

-And then of course, Toews has to go away for three weeks because of an injury. Someone tell Kenny Hitchcock that it's the fucking preseason.

-Who the hell is Manny Malhotra? And how did he score two goals on Khabibulin?

-Speaking of, which Khabibulin will show up this year? Last year's, or the one from the year before that was a $7.25 million headache? Early returns are not promising.

-Yanic Perreault, where were your three-point games last year?

-Robert Lang...decent. Needs to prove: a) that he's not Adrian Aucoin, and b) that he's not a Red Wings "system" player. Lapointe, I'm looking in your direction.

-Tuomo Ruutu and Jason Williams are coming up big on the assists. Both need to step it up this year to justify their staying with the team...Ruutu more than anyone.

-No scoring from Martin Havlat yet...maybe because he's not playing...because if he gets injured WE ARE SO SCREWED. Savard may not be a good coach, but he's not a complete idiot either...I think.

-Did anyone see the schedule? 4 preseason games in a row? Damn, why?

Anyway, home games tomorrow and Sunday. Players will be greeting the fans before the game. Great opportunity to tell them that they better do well this year or your bookie will kill you. Take advantage.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

He plays hockey, so that means he can sneak you some beer




So apparently James Wisniewski is going to be greeting DePaul students as they come back to classes on Friday.

DePaul students will likely respond by saying, "Who the hell is James Wisniewski."

I guess this is what qualifies as "publicity" for the 'Hawks. See, what would have been better would have been to send Jeff Hamilton. Students could also win a date with him. See, that would be kind of funny, because it's just like the movie! And...what?...why did they send him to Carolina? Didn't he have a hat trick last year?

Well, that just sucks. Way to lose again, Chicago.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

A Plea in earnest to the one they call "JR"




Jeremy, buddy...

Please, come home. Haven't you traveled long enough?

I mean, first, for whatever godforsaken reason, you spent some time in Phoenix. You should have known that hockey doesn't belong in Phoenix. How many Stanley Cups did you win there? Yeah, that's what I thought. Please, they don't even know what it looks like. I think they were even worse in attendance than we were last year.

You went to Philadelphia too. Wow. I bet that was rewarding. We can't all work for the always-understanding Bobby "We didn't tell Roger Nielsen to go get cancer" Clarke, but you were lucky enough. So was Amonte. So was Zhamnov. You were all on a playoff line called "Blackhawk Down." Did that humiliation win you any Stanley Cups?

Of course not. So you went to LA. You were the big man in LA. Only problem is that Anaheim is the big team in LA, and they haven't even been there as long. You watched as they won the Cup last year, but not your Kings. Was it worth it?

And now you're going to San Jose? Come on! Haven't you had enough of this? Come home, already. Oh sure, Chicago's not going to win the Stanley Cup this year or any time soon...unless Jonathan Toews, Patrick Kane, and Martin Havlat become Sidney Crosby, Alexander Ovechkin, and Joe Thornton, respectively, overnight...oh, and Khabibulin would have to stop every shot he saw.

Okay, I know. We're not the best team in the League right now. But we all had fun when you were around, didn't we? Remember how you made fun of Patrick Roy in the 1996 Playoffs? Remember when you scored that goal on him and did that "ear ringing" thing? See, that was fun! Wasn't it?

You ran your mouth a lot back then. You still like doing that. The Blackhawks sorely need a guy that does that. Please, hockey hasn't been interesting in this town since...well, since you were around, really. We need that again. 'Hawks hockey doesn't even rank above soccer in this town anymore. You may not win a Stanley Cup, JR, but you sure as hell could make things fun again. Isn't that more worth it: to make Chicago a hockey town again?!

Dude, seriously, come home. Don't worry: Dale Tallon would sign you. He has no trouble signing washed up, useless veterans anyway (See: Bondra, Peter)... Uh, I mean, you've even said once that you'd "Always be a Blackhawk." I can't find when or where you said that, but you did! Don't deny it! And anyway, you wouldn't be ostracized for leaving. You'd be hailed as a hero again! "The Wayward Son Returns Home." It would be awesome. Fans would come to say goodbye. 35-year-old divorced soccer moms would sleep with you because they "thought you were cute" when they were teenagers. Wouldn't that be cool?!

And even if the Stanley Cup thing is so important to you, remember this: your ONLY Stanley Cup Finals appearance came with the 'Hawks.

I'm just saying.

They Aren't in Last Place Yet Because "Ch" comes before "Co"


(thanks http://teamtirecover.com/)

So things are going to change a bit around here...

I've been talking about it for a long time, and I guess I'm finally going to convert this blog into a Chicago Blackhawks fan blog.

I never had a huge amount of readers to begin with, so I have been writing this blog with mostly selfish motivations. That said, I found out that my best and most passionate posts were about the Blackhawks. This, coupled with the fact that there is only the venerable Kill Bill Wirtz that talks solely about the 'Hawks (see link on the left) as far as I can see, led me to this decision.

As an extremely busy law student, I probably won't update as much as I'd like. As this will now be a Blackhawks blog, I can probably count on few people really caring that much about that. So that's good.

I will still comment on other blogs that are either sports or non-sports related. I just thought it was time to steer my blogging into a different direction, especially considering that the majority of the blogs I read are sports-related.

So here it is, the second (?) official blog that deals solely with the goings on of the Chicago Blackhawks. Some preliminary thoughts before the preseason even begins:
-I hate Bill Wirtz
-I know that there are at least a lot of "closet" 'Hawks fans out there ("Is it safe to admit that I'm a Blackhawks fan?"- come on, you know who you are)
-I think Dale Tallon is neither a genius nor trying very hard
-I know that this team is probably not going to the playoffs
-I have never been a fan of Denis Savard as a coach
-My wife would probably leave me for Tuomo Ruutu

So here we go. I'll come out with a season preview a little later in the preseason. Remember, I'm hopelessly optimistic, so I'd like to see them play a few games first.

Friday, July 06, 2007

Not Sure What Else to Say

Dear Michael Moore,

Let me preface everything by explaining that one of the reasons that I called this blog "Letters to the Wasteland" is because I primarily wrote letters pleading for sanity from those to whom I was writing. Basically, I wrote to those who desperately needed to hear what I had to say.

It is perhaps fitting that, in what will likely be my final blog entry here, I write to you, Mr. Moore, someone who probably really doesn't need to hear what I have to say as, deep down, perhaps you know what I'm about to say. Perhaps you've even heard it by now.

I saw your new movie "Sicko" last night. Much like your other movies, I enjoyed watching "Sicko." Undoubtedly, you intended many of the scenes to be disturbing, particularly those involving people getting crushed by health insurance companies as if they were ants. Well, as one of your favorite targets would say, mission accomplished. I was extremely disturbed by the extreme mistreatment given American citizens by their health care companies. I shook my head in disgust and anger over how other countries are more than capable of giving their citizens free and adequate health care, and I appreciated your point about how those countries care for their citizens in a way that our country does not.

However, I sensed extreme distress from you, Mike. At times in the movie, even you seemed disturbed and exasperated at how much better other, less wealthy countries do at providing health care for their people. At times, you even seemed downright depressed at what you were hearing. I can't say I blame you.

At the end of the movie though, you kinda surprised me. You essentially asked what has happened to the America you thought you knew, the America where people look out for each other down to their worst enemies, where people have consideration for one another and really CARE about things, and where people aren't so apathetic and/or scared of their own government.

This surprised me, Mike, because I thought that, in all of your experience, you would know by now that the America you speak of doesn't exist, and maybe never has.

Oh sure, to an extent, there's the example of rural America. They are blindly loyal to Republicans, unfortunately, but at least they tend to care about themselves and their neighbors.

But look at the rest of the nation. In big and moderately big cities, people care about one thing and one thing only: money. They would beat, punch, kick, and step over their own relatives to get it.

Like I said, I know that you probably know this and that you're probably frustrated by it too.

To be honest, I don't know when this started exactly, but it is by no means a new switch in American thought. For years and years now, America has been marked by companies making outrageous profits at the expense of other human beings. Look back to slavery, the turn of the 20th century, and the countless wars that America has entered into. Clearly, America has a history of being solely concerned with profit at the expense of others.

Especially in the big cities today (Chicago is a perfect example), the people will run into you on the sidewalk and not apologize. They will walk through the door that you held open for them and not even given you a second glance. They will try to kill you with their cars and then act like it's your fault. Most importantly, they will take money from almost anyone if it puts them in a bigger house.

It's sad and it's sick, but it illustrates my point.

Mike, you also made the point that Americans are essentially afraid of their government, and not vice versa. I disagree. In actuality, I think that it's not that Americans are afraid of their government, it's just that they don't think they can change anything. America is a big country, and lobbyists spend hard to win over the politicians that people think (or feel like) they're electing. No one in Congress is free of big money any more. What can one citizen do?

All in all, it's a hopeless system and unless someone breaks through the money that holds this nation's consciousness like an iron fist, nothing will change.

Mike, I don't fault you for seeing the best in America. I see it too. I also don't fault you for truly believing in the ability of this country to change. I hope for this change every day.

The fact is though, too few people in this country care more about their fellow citizens than money, and whatever the reason for that, it's wrong.

But I still hope that America can turn itself around. I still hope that things can change. I still hope that there's something I can do as an individual to help people care about their fellow citizens. I still truly hope that I can do something to make a difference.

And I'm convinced now that it doesn't lie in typing things here.

If there's anything that your films teach, Mr. Moore, it's that the problems this nation faces are monumentally large. They call for action, not words.

So stop talking America, and do something about this mess.

I think it's about time that I did.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

No Comfort From the President

Dear President Bush,

Lost in the tragedy yesterday at Virginia Tech, where a gunman killed 31 people before killing himself, was a comment that a White House spokesman gave to media members who wanted a snippet:

"The president believes that there is a right for people to bear arms, but that all laws must be followed."

Now, why even say that? A deranged gunman grabs a high-powered weapon, walks across a university and starts shooting, and we must bear the appalling reminder that lunatics give themselves the right to bear arms, whether we like it or not?

At least that's how I viewed that deliriously inappropriate quote.

I think I know why this was said by the White House spokesman. Once again, Mr. Bush, you know that you hold a position on an issue that is unpopular, barely tenable, and pretty close to being outright wrong...

...so this time, you pre-empted any attack that might come from gun violence activists.

I guess that's not the worst idea in the world. Rosie O'Donnell attacked Tom Selleck for being a member of the NRA on the day after the Columbine attacks, some eight years ago. I can only imagine who her target will be today.

Regardless, just like you always do, President Idiot, you threw up a shield designed to deflect criticism from you and your party base, AKA your cronies, even though that criticism rightfully belongs there.

Fine, Mr. Bush. You do that. Just bear in mind that Americans already see through you when you defend the issues that you inexplicably attach your name to. There are only so many tragedies that a country can take before they decide to do something about it.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Free Tickets To See a Bad Team? What Could Go Wrong?!

Dear Wirtz Family (owners of the NHL's Chicago Blackhawks),

Hi. Me again.

I know you've hated my unsolicited advice in the past...actually, you probably don't even know that this blog exists...oh well, I like to vent. So you're going to get my unsolicited advice again.

I saw this headline in the Chicago Tribune

It says that you were offering free tickets (good seats too, right near the ice) to the Blue Jackets game this past Friday. It says that you were notifying fans who had bought tickets to 'Hawks games in the past.

The result was people giving away the Ticketmaster code to buy the tickets on Craig's List. The result was also season ticket holders sitting next to people who hadn't paid a thing for the tickets, though fortunately, there weren't many of them.

Okay then. Since you obviously don't get it yet:

1) When ticket sales are particularly bad, such as this year, when attendance at 'Hawks games was 2nd worst in the entire NHL, you definitely should NOT piss off the season ticket holders, who pay good money for their tickets, by making their tickets the equivalent of worthless...EVEN IF IT'S JUST FOR A DAY!!!

2) When giving away really good tickets, try contacting the good people who, when they do come to games, sit in the 300 level. I went to two 'Hawks games this year. I wasn't even aware of the promotion. I'm a loyal fan, you fucking pricks. I probably would have even gone. Oh well.

3) When giving away free tickets, try lowering the cost of parking around the arena. Currently, it ranges from $12-$15 per car. Given the cost of gas these days, those parking costs don't really make the trip worth it. Oh, and another thing:

4) If you want fans to come to the games, try building a winning team first.

You can start by firing that idiot coach and General Manager.

But I've already told you that.

Anyway, this is a new low for a proud franchise. I think only the Detroit Lions are worse...and that's a stretch.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

A Final Grade

Dear Wirtz Family who owns the Chicago Blackhawks, (and all Blackhawks fans who are reading, for that matter),

Today, the Blackhawks blew a 2-1 lead to lose 3-2 to the Calgary Flames.

This brings the Blackhawks to 63 points, 6 behind the Columbus Blue Jackets for last place in the Western Conference Central Division, and last overall in the Western Conference.

If you care at all about the Chicago Blackhawks, please immediately fire Denis Savard, the Head Coach, and Dale Tallon, the General Manager. They have proven completely unable to put together a winner.

In the meantime, please seriously consider and contemplate why you wish to own one of the most money-draining and unpopular franchises in all of sports.

Did you hear me? You are almost certainly losing money. You are less popular than the Wolves. You CAN'T be making money.

Please give serious, thoughtful consideration to running this hockey club. Thank you.



Yeah, it's probably hopeless, but nothing could HURT at this point, could it?